The Ice Age Cometh.....
I think I have experienced nearly the full gamut of human emotion this weekend.
Friday night, Nikki and I went to Marshall's for some beers. Tricia ended up joining a few hours later. We were drinking like fish and the shots were flowing like, well, liquour. Nikki and I had decided early in the night that we were just going to fuck it and talk to anyone and everyone. And that's exactly what we did. We ended up hanging out and doing shots with like 15 different people. Tricia and Nikki ended up meeting a couple of guys. I met one guy that I was entralled with, however, he was straight. But he was extremely nice, funny, and good-looking. I then hit the point where I fully realized that I was in a straight bar and was not going to meet anyone that night. Then, I realized that the guys Tricia and Nikki were hanging with were complete douchebags. I was then suddenly drunk and pissy, although not obviously. It was time to go home at the point (plus it was nearly 2am anyway.) So, I came home and passed out.
Saturday, I felt like complete shit for most of the day due to the amount of alcohol still bouncing around in my system. It was colder than shit yesterday, so I stayed in the house most of the day. I was pretty mentally numb on top of it. Adam and I watched I Heart Huckabees. It was a good movie. I think I need to watch it a few more times. And yum, Jude Law.
Today, I am currently in a very hateful, foul mood. I have been in this mood all day. I'm pretty sure that most of it is due to the constant snowing and 34 degree weather all day long, umm, hello, it is April 24th. I had convinced myself that I wouldn't be seeing snow for quite awhile. I was wrong. I've also been doing a lot of negative thinking.
I've lately been feeling that I don't have a hell of a lot to look forward to. Now, I'm not saying this in the I-wish-it-would-all-end, despair sort of way. I'm stuck in a huge rut. It's that simple. I don't have much going on in the way of social, love, or entertainment life. My job is mundane and a waste of 40 hours a week. That really takes a toll on the psyche. I'm totally feeling the spring mating itch. I've been single much too long. I know that I don't need a guy to be happy, but I am feeling the need to share my life at the moment. I've been in the chatrooms again lately, and I am amazed at how trite everyone is. I haven't felt any kind of spark with anyone lately, and that is so what I need.
One of my biggest issues today was that I really wanted someone, anyone, to do something nice for me. I know that sounds selfish, but I really kind of want to feel special. I tend to feel like I do a lot for other people. At work, I stroke egos and walk on eggshells so that people avoid necessary conflict. I bite my tongue with friends and family. I am there if anyone needs me for pretty much anything. I wouldn't mind a payback day every once in awhile. Hell, who wouldn't?
There....that's off of my chest. There you have it. I'm spent. Thanks for allowing me the time and bandwidth to whine occasionally.
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